You get what you tolerate. If you keep saying YES when you mean NO the abuser’s behavior won’t change. There are risks of enforcing a healthy boundary of saying ‘no’ to someone important to you. The risk of rejection or abuse.
Saying ‘NO’ to someone’s unChristlike behavior is backed up by God. A husband can say to his wife: ‘It is not okay for you to speak to me in a condescending tone of voice. If you disagree, just say so speaking ‘truth in love.’ (Eph. 4:15). A wife can say to her husband: ‘It is not okay for you to yell at me and get in my face. Speak to me in truth and love.’ God HAS to honor us when evoke His own word. However, it doesn’t always mean the abuse will suddenly change.
The boundary of ‘NO’ has to be reinforced again……and again.