Ultimatums are the result when boundaries don’t work.
A boundary is setting a parameter for what is okay behavior and not okay behavior. However, when one partner begins to violate the boundaries to the extent that there is chronic disrespect an ultimatum may be in order.
Make a case
But, before you issue an ultimatum make sure you make the case. Review the boundaries that have been disrespected and why it is now time for an ultimatum.
Most important, determine how you are going to enforce the ultimatum if the other refuses to budge. Are you prepared to separate and maybe for good?
We would prefer the other would just honor our boundaries.Jesus set an ultimatum: He said “anyone who is not with me is against me…” (Matthew 12:30). And He is ready to this very hour to enforce that ultimatum.