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Before I make a minor decision, do I consider what my spouse will think of it?

A client said he was trying to make a minor decision:  Do I rake the leaves now or or finish a job-related task?  He pondered that he could record the game and do the project now which would make more sense but he really wanted to watch the game.  He then wondered how his wife would respond.  Would she be scolding, or non-controlling telling him he should make up his own mind?  She could do either of the two as she has in the past.   The idea that we worry about the response of a spouse to our daily living decisions is a concern.   It’s walking on eggshells which is a fear of a future unpleasant or abusive conflict.  It is codependency on the spouse’s unpredictable anger problem.   What does God say?  Ephesians 4:15.  ‘Speaking the truth in love we grow up in Christ.’  We make up our own mind and if there is a spousal conflict we speak the truth in love.  If we give in to the spouses’ sinful terms we end up reinforcing that scolding pattern.  By the way, husbands scold wives, too.

Rev. Dr. Craig A. Brewick, Christian Hope Counseling

Citrus Heights, CA


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