Does God choose our spouse before we are born?
While driving, I received a phone call from a man in Texas who needed help since he and his wife had just separated. He said he was broke and could not afford to pay for counseling. I told him I would listen to his story for free until I got to my destination. While his individual story is not pertinent to what I want to say, I will leave out the details except one. He believes that God told him he would soon meet a woman who would become his wife and she would be wearing a brown coat. Voila! A woman in a brown coat came into his life and he married her. It eventually turned out that she was emotionally unstable and he asked me point-blank: ‘Why did God give me this woman for my wife?’ I mused to myself that perhaps there were two women with brown coats in his vicinity and he just unluckily chose her.
My real answer to him is that there is no Biblical conclusion that God chooses our mates so it’s not His fault that we pick the wrong ones. He gave us a brain and free will. Now, if he prays to God to find Him a wife, perhaps God will help him with discernment: to get to know her in all seasons and asking many pointed questions about her past (unless you grew up next door to her). So the next time you get a premonition that the next woman wearing a brown coat will be your wife, I suggest you ask her to try on many coats before you marry her. Ps 119:66. ‘Teach me good discernment and knowledge, For I believe in Your commandments.’