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CHRONIC CRABBINESS

CHRONIC CRABBINESS This is a pejorative style of behavior that can be part of the marriage dyad.  One or both spouses are just plain negative about much of their world to the point it becomes their world.  It is a form of depression and this depression could go back to childhood.  The cause? A spouse seems to have little control over their life or circumstances.  And even if they do, they have gotten into the habit of not...

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY OUR SWEET FACES

STOP!  Please do not be fooled by our sweet faces.   Down deep we are both selfish and after we are living together we will soon see how abusive we can be toward each other.   Each one of us are used to getting what we want and will not tolerate anything less.  A marriage took place because we didn’t take the time to get to know each other and ask important questions about our pasts.  Questions about our previous...

THE BOUNDARY OF ‘NO’

You get what you tolerate.  If you keep saying YES when you mean NO the abuser’s behavior won’t change.   There are risks of enforcing a healthy boundary of saying ‘no’ to someone important to you.  The risk of rejection or abuse. Saying ‘NO’ to someone’s unChristlike behavior is backed up by God.  A husband can say to his wife: ‘It is not okay for you to speak to me in a...

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL

Emotional blackmail is a threat or punishment to control another (victim).  It can be even more subtle, say, a husband or wife decide to start a bedtime argument with the victim needing a nights rest before a busy day.  What does God say about emotional blackmail?  1 Cor. 13:4 ‘Love is patient and kind.’  Lk 3:14 ‘don’t make threats.’  Guilt-tripping is emotional blackmail.  An implied threat like ‘you’re going to pay for...

SAVIOR, SEND ME A CLEAR MESSAGE!

Savior, Send Me a Clear Message! Often during during the work week I take a break between clients and walk into the sanctuary to be alone with Jesus.   The sanctuary is very still.  So still I can hear momentary creaks as the 20 year old building still settles.  I look to the stain glass Cross high above the alter and I ask God ‘What should I do?’  Sometimes the question pertains to a current problem or a general will for my...